Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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