So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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