You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
