the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
