do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
