I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
