You were right. It hurts to walk today.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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