I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had to cum in my sink.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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