the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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