you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
