Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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