I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
