Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
