there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
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