Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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