I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
