Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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