is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
