I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize