I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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