So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
