so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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