We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
