Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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