READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish my penis had a tongue
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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