oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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