Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
