i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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