Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
