So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
