i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
