I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
