stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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