I need help removing her.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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