wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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