i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Send help, water and tortillas.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
