You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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