i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
