Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
