I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
