While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
