Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
