so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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