Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
