If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
