Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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