mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
