You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
