Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
