So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize