Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
