Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
