grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
