guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
