he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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