Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
