I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
