saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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