she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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