someone owes me an orgasm
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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