I'm going to jail i love you
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
