it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
