Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
