Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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