I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
